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MST3K 513 - The Brain That Wouldn't Die
The Movie Synopsis Ambitious, impatient Dr. Bill Cortner (Jason Evers) is a 40-year-old surgical intern who plays by his own rules. "Nothing is beyond my control" he boasts - in other words, a typical surgeon. Cortner has been laboring in secret to perfect transplants of limbs and organs using parts poached from the hospital where he works while his father, also a surgeon, covers for him. Nurse Jan (Virginia Leith) is his lovely and amorous bride-to-be. Bill's got a private lab in the boonies. One Friday, he receives an urgent summons from his assistant and experimental subject, Kurt. The couple race to the lab in his convertible. In a crash, Jan is decapitated, yet curiously still able to reach an arm out dramatically towards Bill's face. Bill recovers her noggin from the burning car and runs it downfield to his lab where he places it in his brand-new special transplant solution. It seems that all you need to perfectly perfuse a human brain is a couple of beakers, some 1/8 inch tubing, and a pan of anti-rejection serum/artificial blood-cerebrospinal fluid. Jan will survive for 50 hours, he figures, time enough to find a new body for her head - and move medicine ahead by light years. Secure in the knowledge that Jan's bodyless head will get along just fine without his supervision, he returns to the city and immediately begins a grim search at a strip club, cruising the boulevards, and attending a "Miss Body Beautiful" contest. Observe his lips twist with desire as he ogles the available flesh while an ultra-sleazy alto sax wails accompaniment. Back at the lab, Jan, whose humor has, shall we say, soured considerably, begins planning Bill's comeuppance. She's quite miffed at not being allowed to expire with dignity, and she lets lab assistant Kurt know it in "Brenda Vacaro-ish" tones. Guess what? It seems she has also conveniently acquired paranormal powers. She can not only communicate with but also command Bill's other creation - an unspeakable, mutated mass of grafted tissues that resides in the closet. No, it's not Cher. Meanwhile, Bill discovers a body he approves of in the form of "Doris", a bitter, facially disfigured photographic model whom he once knew. He reels her in by promising to "erase her scar... sanding away damaged skin tissues" - a revolutionary approach to cosmetic surgery. Once at the lab, he plies her with drugged liquor and prepares to operate over Jan's strident objections. Will the hellish healer succeed in his fiendish plans? Will he get away with murder? Will Jan be forced to continue life... as a monstrousity? Information Eddie Carmel, who played the giant pinhead mutant, was 8’ 9” tall. He toured with Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey, billed as “The Jewish Giant” and “The World’s Greatest Giant.” The Episode Host Segments Prologue: It’s Mike’s first day on the SOL and the ‘Bots have been giving him training on the finer points of riffing. Invention: Mike’s first invention is the Gutter-bumber-chute, an umbrella with a gutter system. The Mads are not impressed. In Deep 13, Dr. F invents the Dream Buster, which allows him to pop the balloons of bratty children from a safe distance. Mike and the Bots are unimpressed, as Dr. F manhandles Frank ("I'm your mother now, Frank!") Segment Two: The Bots aid Mike in attempting to gain control of the ship and get back to Earth. He ends up cutting the cheese compressor line. Gypsy hollers, "That's not cheese!" Segment Three: It's craft time as Mike and the Bots are making hats for Jan in the Pan, the bodiless lady in the film. Included in the hats is a Crown Roast Hat, to help give the illusion of height. Segment Four: When discussing the depressing nature of the film, Mike is compelled to tell an embarrassing childhood story about a walkathon. The story includes a long walk home, an ice cream cone and a locked bathroom door. Segment Five: Mike and the Bots don’t read letters because none are addressed to Mike, and they are visited by Jan in the Pan. She has an incredible sense of humor until Mike offends her. In Deep 13, Dr. Forrester decides to lop off Frank's head. Stinger: Unpleasant Stripper: "Who's to tell me to blow if I don’t want to?" Other Notes Guest Stars *''Jan in the Pan'': Mary Jo Pehl Miscellanea *Tom says the bots had Mike watch The Beast of Yucca Flats in preparation for this film. The Beast of Yucca Flats would be an experiment the next year. Obscure References *(deep voice) "But for Joseph Green, there would be another film." A parody of NFL Films oft-used phrase: "But for the Green Bay Packers would come another season." *''"License plate? A boot? Tricycle wheel? This man was a bottom feeder!"'' A reference to the "shark autopsy" scene from Jaws. *''buzzes when Dr. Cortner touches the patient's brain.'' A reference to the popular electric board game Operation. *''"Luke, join me or star in Corvette Summer!"'' Corvette Summer was a 1978 film starring Mark Hamill. *''"Nick Mancuso IS Stingray!"'' Stingray was a short-lived NBC television show produced by Stephen J. Cannell starring Nick Mancuso as the titular character, Ray. *''pointing to a road direction painted on the freeway "A sign left by ancient astronauts!"'' A reference to Erich von Däniken's book Chariots of the Gods?, and a popular phrase from the sci-fi oddity show In Search of... narrated by Leonard Nimoy. *''shouting to Mrs. Webb on the freeway.'' A reference to the Bob Newhart routine "The Driving Instructor", from the album The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart. *''"Think I'll have a Papa Burger. You?"'' A reference to fast-food franchise A&W Restaurants, which in 1963 introduced introduced The Burger Family, which included a Mama Burger, Papa Burger, Teen Burger and Baby Burger. *"Hey, it's Johnny Tremain!" Johnny Tremain is the protagonist of a children's book of the same name by Esther Forber. *"I bet he's going to turn her into Mrs. Olson!" Mrs. Olson was a Swedish-accented character in a popular Folgers Coffee ad campaign. *"Oooooohhh, you put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up!" A refrain from the popular song Coconut by Harry Nilsson. *"An American in vitro..." A reference to the George Gershwin symphony An American in Paris, or the Gene Kelly musical of the same name. In vitro is a scientific term for biological work done "in the glass". The opposite is in situ. *''voice "Boss, you've broken the goofy meter again!"'' Tom Servo is imitating Lionel Stander's character Max of Hart to Hart. *"So, are you a goer? Ay? Ay? Nudge, nudge? Know what I mean?" A reference to the popular Monty Python sketch Nudge Nudge. *''"Heh, heh, heh, have you seen Frankenhooker?"'' Frankenhooker was a 1990 film about a scientist who kills hookers and uses their parts to revive his fiance's head. (Sound familiar?) Category:MST3K Episodes Category:Season 5